The Birds of Pokemon Go

Just in time for a year ago, a blog post about Pokemon Go!

I mean, shit, I'm writing for a Blogger site so who's worried about appearing timely, anyway?

Pokemon Go, the App that's sweeping the nation last year! As you probably read in a think piece, in Pokemon Go you walk around and try to catch these monsters. Some really smart people commented at the time about how close this monster catching was to actual birding. The idea is pretty much the same, and most of the monsters have antecedents in the real natural world.

And there are birds! Or, like, bird-esque things. Let's check them out and see if they're crap or real? Do you want to? No? Oh. No, we should. We should. Come on. I'll just post the pictures below and, like, talk about the real-life birds that they sorta look like. It'll take you like five seconds. OK I'm just gonna start.

Pidgey

Pidgey is the most basic Pokemon. It's so common, it should be a House Sparrow. It's not a pigeon, though, so I'm not really sure what that part is about. 

No, I'd say this bird is more of a finch or sparrow-type. Like maybe this Yellow Grassland Finch from  South America. Photo (c) Robert Ahlman

Pidgeotto and Pidgeot

Pidgy evolves into Pidgeotto and then in to Pidgeot, it's biggest, baddest form. Still nothing like a pigeon, but pretty badass. Lookie dem claws!

The closest real bird that I could find to Pidgeot is probably this Yellow Golden Pheasant, which is a domestic bird but hey we're talking about video game birds here. This pheasant doesn't look anything like a pigeon, either, but as we've established, that's fine.

Spearow and Fearow

Spearow is another very common thing to find in Pokemon Go, and I mean I guess it looks like a sparrow? A sparrow that's been all oiled up on the face and it's stuff is sticking up everywhere? Best I could find was a Crested Lark.

Fearow is the evolved form, and clearly it's not a sparrow. It's a vulture, I think, with a super long neck and, uh, broad wings. It's in the mold of one of those old cartoon cultures that were all dumb.

Looks most like this Griffon Vulture IMHO

Dodrio

Uhhhhhhhhhh

Looks most like a mutant Emu. This guy saw one in Australia. 

Porygon

I mean it's some kind of red duck? Here's an Argentine Blue-bill that could work I suppose. 

Natu and Xatu

Aw hey there you cute little mystical nonsense. Green with a red crest, eh...how about finally getting an American bird in here, and call you a Ruby-crowned Kinglet?

Okay, Xatu. Xatu... What the hell is going on with you, man? Are you literally tripping. There is nothing for you, you're like some shaman's kite.

Hoothoot and Noctowl

Okay, back to reality for a second. These are clearly owls, yes? Owls. Proud of this one. They don't look like owls but are called ducks or something, like Pidgey, these are just straight up winners. 

Going to go with the classic Great Horned Owl here. 

Psyduck and Golduck

Finally it's these two weirdos. They're ducks, it says it right there in the name.

Psyduck, all dumb-looking, is clearly modeled on one of those baby ducks. I don't even know what species it is, a domestic I guess. There you have it.

I know Billy Madison hasn't seen a blue duck before, but maybe he just hasn't been to New Zealand to see their badass Blue Duck. He better go soon, though, because this bad boy is endangered. Bring Veronica Vaughn!

Okay that's all. See you in another year when I talk about how birds are like fidget spinners or something.